Gaijin Philosophy: March 2014

1. THE NEED FOR RELEVANCE

Rel·e·vance [rel-uh-vuhns]

Noun

The condition of being relevant, or connected with the matter at hand

We are born, live for about 60, maybe 70 years and then die. That's it! What is the point of our lives? For in the grand scheme of things (the 13.8 billion year old universe for example) what do those 60 - 70 years of your life count for? Or what do all our human lives put together count, for that matter?

The search for relevance is quintessential of the human experience. After all, to know the relevance of our lives is to know why it matters or how it is important. It is to understand why we are alive, where we fit in; it explains the reason for our existence. The search for relevance drives our lives, making us strive hard to find our niche. It is the reason for everything we have done, do or ever want to do. We spend our lives in such search; yet have no clue why we need to find the relevance of our lives in the 1st place. How are we to understand this need for relevance in our lives? Better still, we could start by asking do we need to understand it at all? After all, as Arthur Clarke is known to have said, "If we waste time looking for life’s meaning, we may have no time to live - or to play."

My wife and me have a 4 year old. Over the last year there has been one question he asks more than others - Why? He wants us to explain to him why were telling him to do / not do something, why some events played out a particular way, etc. In essence he keeps asking us the reason for things that concern / affect him in some way. It is part of our human nature to be curious. Curiosity is the only reason the human race has progressed so far. Edmund Burke would say, "The first and simplest emotion which we discover in the human mind, is curiosity." To not try and address our deep seated need to find relevance in our lives would be to kill our most fundamental emotion. Colorado State University's Psychology Professor Michael Steger studies meaning, how people find it in their lives and whether it matters. He found that people in general who find some overarching meaning or foundational purpose supporting the things they do and their beliefs - tend to better withstand the things life throws at them. It is therefore that i believe we need to understand it; for Socrates couldn't put it better when he said, "The unexamined life is not worth living."

The need for relevance in our lives stems right from our childhood where we feel the need to identify why we are doing / not doing a particular set of things. Robin Sharma said about the same, "The purpose of life is a life of purpose." This deep seated need for relevance doesn't come from a life altering event alone as much as from within ourselves. Viktor Frankl, an Austrian existential psychologist surmised that our dominant driving force is to find meaning in life; as he put it, "He who has a why to live for, can bear almost any how." It was Baumeister who suggested that the search for relevance in our lives is in order to address the need for self-worth. Steger's research showed a direct correlation between one's sense of self worth and the perception that their life had meaning. As my wife and me watched our son grow, there was a phase where he loved looking at himself in the mirror and admiring himself. Child psychologists will tell you that this is how children get accustomed to their reflection and find a sense of worth as a distinct human being. It is at precisely that moment (usually when a child is around 15 months old) that we find the beginnings of the need for relevance in our lives. So closely knit is this imagery of self-worth to our being that as we continue to grow (and explore the world around us), this search for relevance grows to become a need for relevance; the need to be us!

The need for relevance more or less peaks by the end of our (exploratory) teen years which having been spent trying to define and express ourselves so that others would take notice; moves on (in most) to settle down into a more passive form of 'this is me and this is my life' mode. When questioned, most people tend to look back at this mindset of their 20's sculpted look, as the basis of the relevance of the remainder of their lives. However the truth is, most people in their 60's would have a good laugh about what they thought their lives would be in their 20's. Goes to prove that our need for relevance is not a milestone reached; rather is a process of exploration and discovery over the period of our lives. This is because our need for relevance is not in one action or thought that lasts a lifetime; rather it manifests itself in short and widely spaced quantum leap growth patterns of learning and developing. This never ending search for relevance as long as we live, is what defines our lives and edges us on to achieve. For ultimately it is this same relevance that defines our human experience and sets us apart from other the species on earth.

Make no mistake, this quest for relevance is a frightening one. Yet, the truth is we as humans only fear meaninglessness more. It is probably this fear that drives me to write. But if you are somebody who takes literally the satirical writings of Kurt Vonnegut when he said, "We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different;" well this series is not for you. Curiosity did kill Schrodinger's cat; but there is much we can achieve if we do not limit our curiosity. A case to the fact is everything the human race has achieved. So, if you are anything like me - a normal thinking human being wondering about our search for relevance, i ask that you embark on this journey of discovery with me.

Even as we begin this journey, ask yourself - "Am I relevant?" May it be that we find more answers than questions along this journey. I also sincerely hope that we will be wiser (and therefore happier) by the end of this literary journey to discover relevance in our lives.